Hello. I am e.n.d. Once upon a time I came from Minnesota. But then I moved everywhere.
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Complacency did.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Made it to Yangshuo. Four flights and a long car ride, I finally arrived at my parents place.
The photos are of my near miss of a connection in Shenzhen. Driven personally across the tarmac by a couple of guys who saw me roaming around the airport until they finally asked, “Where you go, woman? You lost. You will miss your flight. Run with us.”
I’m in my pajamas. My Mom and I are listening to Nathan Fake now and I’m about to collapse.
:)
I woke up to this in my feed. My ADHD self can’t follow a ton of people on this or Twitter (I can never handle all of the incoming as is!), so a breakfast wake up call to one of my favorite Radiohead B-sides is a nice surprise.
Especially this morning. My windows are screaming sun and blue skies. I heard the punk bakers below me setting up shop. I pressed play while still under the covers.
In very similar weather, I bought this single in Los Angeles when I was with my Mom over a long weekend in early 2002 while she was attending some kind of ‘product marketing insurance conference’.
Gross, I know.
But these trips were common and more often than not, she took me with her. I was always pumped to travel on these micro-domestic journeys. Perfect breaks spent with a person who is still one of my closest friends.
On this trip in particular, I’d take our rental car out of the too-nice-for-our-liking Beverly Hills hotel garage we were staying and I’d drive solo, every day, to Orange County on long freeways. I had every B-side from the ‘Knives Out’ single with me. Heavy rotation, playing while plowing on smaller seaside roads once I reached the good ole’ OC.
I was busy writing, reading and fresh out of a silly break-up. Silly in the sense that at 22 yrs old, you’re still pretty unsure but fairly confident that it’s not the end of the world but the occasional second pops up when you treat it as if it is. Damn emotions! But, it cracks up to just a young learning experience. After all, I wasn’t about to be kept in Minnesota. Break-ups were both tasty and painful at that age. Leaving Minnesota was key. The world was big.
So instead, I was a 22 yr. old who appreciated driving in cars alone to beautiful soundtracks, still searching for CD singles and unreleased bootlegs of live performances in the stores of cities and countries I didn’t frequently visit.
Wondering what a post-University experience would look like in six months, I compartmentalized and focused on writing my undergraduate honors thesis on ‘Debt Relief in the Democratic Republic of the Congo’ and defending it to a committee I feared might not be convinced to allow me to graduate at the top of my class later that Spring.
(I always felt that I sucked at writing. I’m far too passionate to make sense half the time).
Six months later, after sitting and speaking (trembling, really) in a small, hot room for two hours, completely sweaty and still terrified, that said committee was somehow convinced. After hearing my pathetic attempts to define what the ‘moral obligation’ was on behalf of the Belgian and US Government’s duty to relieve the Congo’s debt, I got a harsh lesson in what real Political Economy and Post-Colonial transitions were and they gave my Summa Cum Laude honors. Pointedly and so often, I stood harshly critiqued during the entire defense. Mystified, even after, as to why they rewarded me.
Still, after being challenged so much, I later (and rightfully so), convinced myself that debt relief was definitely the wrong way to go for any transitional economy, country or populous. Aid, too, was wrong and no longer worked in isolation. Period. And any attempt to develop anything only happens within. Within the country, the leadership, and every individual, no matter what the issue or topic. Personal or political. The continent of Africa, included, could only be helped if it wanted to help itself first.
These were all relatively controversial opinions I later went to graduate school with to make more friends and some, well, not so good friends.
Los Angeles, my Mom, some professors, music, and a lot of books.
“It’s such a beautiful day.
It’s such a beautiful day.
Go up to the mic,
Go up to the mic.
Go and get some rest.”
at seanfennessey:
Radiohead: “Worrywort”
from the Knives Out EP
Yangshuo, China. This is where my parents are moving in July. Whoa.
Click away to see more of my Dad’s photos. He’s launching a photo-tour company there and will be posting more once he’s on the ground.
:)
When I was 16, I was doing bad in school and hanging out with “the wrong crowd”. As the school threatened to kick me out, my parents decided it would be a good idea for my Mom to take me on a business trip with her to New Orleans to get some perspective and make a decision about my future.
On one of my many solo-angsty walks, I found a record shop that specialized in CD singles and brit-pop bands. I bought the Fake Plastic Trees single.
Took a long walk back through the French Quarter in the dark while Mom was at a business dinner. Went to the pool inside our hotel’s courtyard, rolled up my jeans, laid on the concrete, stared at the sky, lit a cigarette, dipped my feet in, and played these b-sides over and over. Nothing like hearing new music for the first time.
I saw Radiohead live again for the second time a week later. This was April, 1996.
Two months later, I managed to get my shit together, started doing better in school, and graduated on time the following year.
“I don’t want you. I don’t want you, anymore.”
Taking photos with my Dad in Turkey somewhere not far from the Syrian border.
Taken by Mom five years ago.
Missing them both now.
